Okay, this year I went to the Holy Thursday Mass at Sacred Heart. It was a beautiful service that has served to focus me more on "the true meaning of easter."
Last night my wife and I led a Good Friday service with the youth of our church. It was extremely dark and melancholy- it was a service written by Steve Case. Anyways, the service went really well, except for some reason very few people came.
Our young people definitely grew from the experience- they always do- but I feel bad having them lead a service that not even all of our elders were at. And only one deacon.
This morning I'm going to a Resurrection Breakfast in my town. It usually has good food, a couple of hymns and some speaker. I think it's supposed to be evangelistic. I can never really tell. I probably wouldn't take my lost high school friends there unless I knew them really well (had earned the right to be heard- and ignored).
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Friday, March 25, 2005
wow
Continued
So, I stood there watching my little angel have a seizure, something I've never witnessed and hope to never witness again.
Tom, Kyle, and I are convinced something is seriously wrong.
The ambulance arrived.
"She sure has beautiful red hair."
The EMTs assure me that the seizure was probably caused by the fever and there's nothing seriously wrong with her.
The ER doctor said the same.
Our family doctor agreed with the ER doctor in Nebraska.
Thanks be to God.
So, I stood there watching my little angel have a seizure, something I've never witnessed and hope to never witness again.
Tom, Kyle, and I are convinced something is seriously wrong.
The ambulance arrived.
"She sure has beautiful red hair."
The EMTs assure me that the seizure was probably caused by the fever and there's nothing seriously wrong with her.
The ER doctor said the same.
Our family doctor agreed with the ER doctor in Nebraska.
Thanks be to God.
Trip
A trip... that's how I would describe our visit out west with my in-laws and the various other people we know in the Western Nebraska Region. Let me tell you the whole story with my own crazy commentary. (Note: some elements and occurences have been extra-dramatized to make them funnier than perhaps they were.)
First, we were leaving on Tuesday. Tuesday before last, that is. I had class all day and Amy had MOPS, so it was a busy day to be leaving. I got home around 3:30.
"Okay, I'll take a shower and a nap, then we can go."
After my shower is completed and I'm getting ready to lie down for a nap I say, "Why don't you check when the car rental place closes just to doublecheck?"
"It closes at 6."
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"
(The car rental place is a good 1 1/2 drive away and it is currently 4 PM. Barely any of our stuff is packed.)
"That means we need to leave in thirty minutes," I say, as I get up from my two minute nap.
While driving up to Cape to pick up our rental car, I call the rental place,
"Uh, yeah, we're like coming up to rent a car we reserved and we're running a little late."
"Well, we leave right at 6. So, we won't wait for you."
I mumble something I shouldn't type here and set my cruise at 80.
We made it to the rental place okay, got a pretty nice car, and moved all of our stuff into it.
Soon we were on our way.
At about 6 AM we stopped for gas somewhere near Sidney, NE. It was beginning to get light outside. Our kids were awake for the next 1 1/2 hours. The worst of our ever-loving lives.
We got to the farm around 8 AM. The folks were glad to see us. We were glad to see them, especially since they would probably take our unruly kids all over the farm while we slept.
I won't comment on the wedding rehearsal or the wedding itself, except to say that it was a beautiful (perhaps too beautiful?) service and I wish Brian and Mandy all the blessings and guidance God can provide.
Saturday was our day. We had invited out scores of people to come see us at the farm. Troy and Dayna never showed up.
Before the crowd started coming Neil and I drove to Scottsbluff and had some Taco de Oro. Yum.
It wasn't long after we got back that the friends started showing up, their children playing with the chickens as the parents visited with Amy and myself.
Saturday night was hard. Alexis and Micah had been sick with the flu the whole time we were there. That afternoon she refused to take any medicine. Amy and Donie left to go to the school musical. After most the people left it was Kyle, me, Tom, Alexis, and Micah was asleep. Tom laid Alexis down in his bed to sleep. She had a bit of a fever.
A little while later Tom looked in on her and said "Something's wrong with Alexis." My heart immediately started racing. Going into their room, I found Sissy having a seizure on the bed. I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on. My brain stopped working.
"Tom, call 911."
Tom went to get the phone and call 911.
I was holding Alexis- something had to be seriously wrong.
Tom got on the phone, "Hello, yeah this is Tom ----, we have a two year old girl out here at our place passing away."
Hearing Tom say that didn't help my nerves any.
First, we were leaving on Tuesday. Tuesday before last, that is. I had class all day and Amy had MOPS, so it was a busy day to be leaving. I got home around 3:30.
"Okay, I'll take a shower and a nap, then we can go."
After my shower is completed and I'm getting ready to lie down for a nap I say, "Why don't you check when the car rental place closes just to doublecheck?"
"It closes at 6."
"Ahhhhhhhhh!!!"
(The car rental place is a good 1 1/2 drive away and it is currently 4 PM. Barely any of our stuff is packed.)
"That means we need to leave in thirty minutes," I say, as I get up from my two minute nap.
While driving up to Cape to pick up our rental car, I call the rental place,
"Uh, yeah, we're like coming up to rent a car we reserved and we're running a little late."
"Well, we leave right at 6. So, we won't wait for you."
I mumble something I shouldn't type here and set my cruise at 80.
We made it to the rental place okay, got a pretty nice car, and moved all of our stuff into it.
Soon we were on our way.
At about 6 AM we stopped for gas somewhere near Sidney, NE. It was beginning to get light outside. Our kids were awake for the next 1 1/2 hours. The worst of our ever-loving lives.
We got to the farm around 8 AM. The folks were glad to see us. We were glad to see them, especially since they would probably take our unruly kids all over the farm while we slept.
I won't comment on the wedding rehearsal or the wedding itself, except to say that it was a beautiful (perhaps too beautiful?) service and I wish Brian and Mandy all the blessings and guidance God can provide.
Saturday was our day. We had invited out scores of people to come see us at the farm. Troy and Dayna never showed up.
Before the crowd started coming Neil and I drove to Scottsbluff and had some Taco de Oro. Yum.
It wasn't long after we got back that the friends started showing up, their children playing with the chickens as the parents visited with Amy and myself.
Saturday night was hard. Alexis and Micah had been sick with the flu the whole time we were there. That afternoon she refused to take any medicine. Amy and Donie left to go to the school musical. After most the people left it was Kyle, me, Tom, Alexis, and Micah was asleep. Tom laid Alexis down in his bed to sleep. She had a bit of a fever.
A little while later Tom looked in on her and said "Something's wrong with Alexis." My heart immediately started racing. Going into their room, I found Sissy having a seizure on the bed. I was terrified. I had no idea what was going on. My brain stopped working.
"Tom, call 911."
Tom went to get the phone and call 911.
I was holding Alexis- something had to be seriously wrong.
Tom got on the phone, "Hello, yeah this is Tom ----, we have a two year old girl out here at our place passing away."
Hearing Tom say that didn't help my nerves any.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Continued
That quote captures/distills something I have been feeling about my own Christian tradition for a while. Did Jesus really come just to "save my soul"? That seems so crass these days. What about that strikes me as arrogant? I guess it's the idea that Jesus' lifetime ministry of loving the oppressed, poor, and outcast was worthless. He didn't do me any good until he died on the Cross. Those 32 years were wasted. He didn't mean the part about setting captives free, proclaiming peace to the oppressed and freedom.
But I see now that God was in Jesus Christ reconciling the entire world to Himself. Creation longs for the ultimate redemption which is in the consummation with Christ.
That means I'm not better or privileged for having found Christ. It's not about me in the least. Christ found me anyways. In spite of worst/best efforts he reached out to me and cleansed me.
But I see now that God was in Jesus Christ reconciling the entire world to Himself. Creation longs for the ultimate redemption which is in the consummation with Christ.
That means I'm not better or privileged for having found Christ. It's not about me in the least. Christ found me anyways. In spite of worst/best efforts he reached out to me and cleansed me.
This Morning
This morning I got up a bit too early, then went to my usual prayer breakfast. It's kind of an interesting thing. It's just me and some older guys. We start out by singing a few hymns/crusader songs (the book actually says "Crusader Songs"), someone gives a talk, then someone closes in prayer. I have no idea why anyone would call that a prayer breakfast. A breakfast yes, but a prayer breakfast, no.
All right, so the best chapter of Generous Orthodoxy is 5, "Why I Am Missional". In that chapter his description of the modern evangelical church is right on:
All right, so the best chapter of Generous Orthodoxy is 5, "Why I Am Missional". In that chapter his description of the modern evangelical church is right on:
In this diagram, my largest concern is me, my soul, my personal destiny in heaven, my maturity, and my rewards. Occasionally, after "winning" people based
on personal self-interest, churches can entice people to care a little
about the church-- but is it any surprise that people "won to Christ" by
self-interest come to the church asking, "What's in it for me?"Is it any surprise that with this understanding of salvation, churches tend to
become gatherings of self-interest-- constantly treating the church as a
purveyor of religious goods and services, constantly shopping and "trading up" for
churches that can "meet my needs" better? Is it any surprise that it's stinking hard to convince churches that they have a mission to the world when most Christians equate "personal salvation" of individuals "souls" with the ultimate aim of Jesus? Is it any wonder that people feel like victims of a bait a switch when they're lured with
personal salvation and then hooked with church commitment and world
mission?
(A Generous Orthodoxy, p. 107)
Monday, March 07, 2005
Reading A lot
So, while I am studying/reading Generous Orthodoxy with my pastor, I am also reading other things in my spare time. Like my psychology textbook, different articles and Donald Miller's Searching for God knows What. It is interesting in Miller and McLaren to read two different views of this emerging culture of postmodernism and its implications in the church and spirituality. Miller comes from a decidedly more relational/real life place, while McLaren is delving into more theoretical issues. All the while, McLaren's Generous Orthodoxy never gets far from relationships. You can sense the way that relationship is forming this whole emerging response, and that makes me so hopeful.
When I look at my local church, where I'm the youth minister, I see a congregation of disconnected isolated individuals who no little about each other's actual lives, outside of how we are on Sunday. This concerns me, especially considering the fact that new people who come to our little church are usually most impressed with our church's closeness. If our church is close, I don't want to see a cold, distant church. Admittedly, our church is very friendly on Sunday mornings, but if we want to talk to anyone in the church during the week, that's our problem.
So, maybe in the postmodern era we will find a way to build intimacy into our churches/communities-- I think that is the thing we need most of.
It looks to me like the Emergent Convention will be an event that empasizes community/fellowship. That has always been a joy even at YS's huge super conventions.
When I look at my local church, where I'm the youth minister, I see a congregation of disconnected isolated individuals who no little about each other's actual lives, outside of how we are on Sunday. This concerns me, especially considering the fact that new people who come to our little church are usually most impressed with our church's closeness. If our church is close, I don't want to see a cold, distant church. Admittedly, our church is very friendly on Sunday mornings, but if we want to talk to anyone in the church during the week, that's our problem.
So, maybe in the postmodern era we will find a way to build intimacy into our churches/communities-- I think that is the thing we need most of.
It looks to me like the Emergent Convention will be an event that empasizes community/fellowship. That has always been a joy even at YS's huge super conventions.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Today
Today I took a day from work-- well, sort of. Anyways, I made some of my world famous chili and hot wings, then had a couple of guys over for chili, hot wings and poker. It was fun, save for the fact that my wife won. How sad is that? I won't let her play again.
Well, that was my day.
Nothing profound to say now.
Well, that was my day.
Nothing profound to say now.
Friday, March 04, 2005
The Authority of Scripture
I just read a really great article challenging our modernist-evangelical views about the authority of Scripture.
How Can The Bible Be Authoritative? by N.T. Wright
It really challenged/increased my thinking about the authority/inspiration of Scripture. It presents what I would consider a Missional Hermeneutic that pushes the church into dialogue with the world.
How Can The Bible Be Authoritative? by N.T. Wright
It really challenged/increased my thinking about the authority/inspiration of Scripture. It presents what I would consider a Missional Hermeneutic that pushes the church into dialogue with the world.
Emergent Convention
Well, it's official, Amy and I are signed up for the Emergent Convention in Nashville in May. I'm super excited.
I've been reading A Generous Orthodoxy lately and discussing it with the pastor at my church one day a week. It's been really invigorating and exciting. He and I are really coming up with some direction and help for our church context. For instance:
Our church started 30 years ago with a group leaving an extremely separationist tradition. Originally they even named our church from the old tradition. Before long it became obvious they wouldn't remain a part of their home tradition, so they changed the name and bought a building. Since that time our church has been a refuge for people who left or were sent out of. So, in essence our church has a thirty-year history of being an "emerging church" as the practice and theology and methodology of the church has been in transition the entire time, always in flux (even if it is very slow flux).
For this reason A Generous Orthodoxy gives me hope for not only my seemingly dying church, but for all institutionalized churches. There is hope. We don't all need to abandon these groups- we need to work within them for reformation. That was Luther's idea with the reformation. Not that the Church was ready to be jettied, but that we should strive to rework it with new ideas, methods and messages.
On a less serious tone:
Fat Dutch Kid
Watch this video. It made me laugh.
So, I'm recommitting myself to blogging to be ready to blog to the masses my experience in my first time at an emergent convention.
I've been reading A Generous Orthodoxy lately and discussing it with the pastor at my church one day a week. It's been really invigorating and exciting. He and I are really coming up with some direction and help for our church context. For instance:
Our church started 30 years ago with a group leaving an extremely separationist tradition. Originally they even named our church from the old tradition. Before long it became obvious they wouldn't remain a part of their home tradition, so they changed the name and bought a building. Since that time our church has been a refuge for people who left or were sent out of. So, in essence our church has a thirty-year history of being an "emerging church" as the practice and theology and methodology of the church has been in transition the entire time, always in flux (even if it is very slow flux).
For this reason A Generous Orthodoxy gives me hope for not only my seemingly dying church, but for all institutionalized churches. There is hope. We don't all need to abandon these groups- we need to work within them for reformation. That was Luther's idea with the reformation. Not that the Church was ready to be jettied, but that we should strive to rework it with new ideas, methods and messages.
On a less serious tone:
Fat Dutch Kid
Watch this video. It made me laugh.
So, I'm recommitting myself to blogging to be ready to blog to the masses my experience in my first time at an emergent convention.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
A Brisk Morning
This morning I rose and crossed the river about thirty minutes after sunrise. The sun was shining in my face, blinding me and warming me.
The river seems to be about a mile across these days, with all the flooding. This river which has for centuries provided fertile soil for farming can destroy roads, homes, lives.
Isn't that a picture of our relationship to God? There's time when it feels like he is overwhelming us, causing our lives to come apart at the seams, or maybe allowing our lives to self-destruct. We feel as if we cannot stand before his terrible wrath.
But He has clothed us in His Son's righteousness. God the Father unleashed all of His wrath against our sin on Jesus when He was in anguish on the cross.
He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree.
He who knew no sin became sin for our sakes.
He crushed for our iniquities.
Christ, we adore You as the Lord and Creator of all. We worship You as our Benefactor, Sacrifice, and Redeemer. You have redeemed for Yourself a people of constant worship across the globe. We exult in exalting You. Our hearts leap at the mention of Your holy name.
Lord Christ, continue to draw us out of our own selves. Christ, we need You.
The river seems to be about a mile across these days, with all the flooding. This river which has for centuries provided fertile soil for farming can destroy roads, homes, lives.
Isn't that a picture of our relationship to God? There's time when it feels like he is overwhelming us, causing our lives to come apart at the seams, or maybe allowing our lives to self-destruct. We feel as if we cannot stand before his terrible wrath.
But He has clothed us in His Son's righteousness. God the Father unleashed all of His wrath against our sin on Jesus when He was in anguish on the cross.
He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree.
He who knew no sin became sin for our sakes.
He crushed for our iniquities.
Christ, we adore You as the Lord and Creator of all. We worship You as our Benefactor, Sacrifice, and Redeemer. You have redeemed for Yourself a people of constant worship across the globe. We exult in exalting You. Our hearts leap at the mention of Your holy name.
Lord Christ, continue to draw us out of our own selves. Christ, we need You.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Writing again
I just had an epiphany.
If I've waited this long to write any more on this blog, any readers I might have had are probably all gone.
Oh well. I'm not concerned with that.
Anyways. I will not write much now, but I'm staging a big comeback.
If I've waited this long to write any more on this blog, any readers I might have had are probably all gone.
Oh well. I'm not concerned with that.
Anyways. I will not write much now, but I'm staging a big comeback.
Monday, December 13, 2004
Today Again
Every morning I write something witty about the weather. The weather here is just doing nothing. It's not particularly cold or extremely hot. It's just there. It's, in fact, pretty sunny, but that's not affecting the temperature.
Let's see, Thursday I took an oral exam for my spanish class. I got a perfect score on a graded ten minute conversation with a Colombian professor. How cool is that?
This weekend I spent a lot of time at home. But it was the kind of time at home that didn't make me completely crazy. Our little family fits well in our little house.
Yesterday Amy and I went to our probable new house across the river. We bought some picnic food and had lunch there. That was fun. The kids were excited. They were actually pretty disappointed when we didn't stay there for the night or something.
Other than that, I'm working on re-focusing the youth ministry at the church. It's a pleasure. Then I'm working on the TMS packets. That's really fun actually.
Now, on the topic of writing anonymously. I definitely need to. I am withering on the vine, so to speak, with this as my creative output. If any of you read my haiku from over the weekend you know what I mean. I guess I'll think about that. I don't want to risk risking bringing any shame or anything like it on the ministry which I'm working hard at.
That's all I'm concerned about. And that's what makes me really nervous when I'm writing on my blog now.
Whenever my blog went public locally my boss said, "What were you thinking? Why don't you just email that to some people?" Maybe I will. My private thoughts might be best private for a while.
Let's see, Thursday I took an oral exam for my spanish class. I got a perfect score on a graded ten minute conversation with a Colombian professor. How cool is that?
This weekend I spent a lot of time at home. But it was the kind of time at home that didn't make me completely crazy. Our little family fits well in our little house.
Yesterday Amy and I went to our probable new house across the river. We bought some picnic food and had lunch there. That was fun. The kids were excited. They were actually pretty disappointed when we didn't stay there for the night or something.
Other than that, I'm working on re-focusing the youth ministry at the church. It's a pleasure. Then I'm working on the TMS packets. That's really fun actually.
Now, on the topic of writing anonymously. I definitely need to. I am withering on the vine, so to speak, with this as my creative output. If any of you read my haiku from over the weekend you know what I mean. I guess I'll think about that. I don't want to risk risking bringing any shame or anything like it on the ministry which I'm working hard at.
That's all I'm concerned about. And that's what makes me really nervous when I'm writing on my blog now.
Whenever my blog went public locally my boss said, "What were you thinking? Why don't you just email that to some people?" Maybe I will. My private thoughts might be best private for a while.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
more haikus
I like to write haiku because it is rhythmic and a fun challenge to count the syllables and make something clever up. Here goes...
Amy just left the room
walking briskly down the hall
stop stop don't do that
lick a lollipop
refreshing lime flavor type
now discard the stick
watch that cow show now--
no cows can not talk like that--
home on the range farce
I thought that I was a poet. Sorry.
Sitting at home
It's the most wonderful time...of the year...
I'm sitting here at my house. It's pretty cold outside. I just noticed I haven't posted since like Monday or something. I'm pretty worthless at blogging since my blog went public. I have been working on the websites for Cville YL. That's been pretty fun. Other than that, I haven't been doing much.
Amy and I are supposed to go to the Madrigal tonite. We're having trouble finding a babysitter, so I think I've convinced Amy to find a gal to go with. I hope she does. That'd be good for her to do some contact work on her own.
Anyways.. I'm thinking that blogging is dead for me. It has lost some of its fun-ness.
I started this week on the Topical Memory System. It's been great. I've memorized the first eight verses. I guess you're actually supposed to memorize them slower, but I'm working on memorizing the New Believer pack, and didn't figure I had to work too hard on those. But they are good.
Well, now I'm done writing, and I've not said much. I pray that I would be writing something of a bit more consequence soon, but not too much consequence.
I'm sitting here at my house. It's pretty cold outside. I just noticed I haven't posted since like Monday or something. I'm pretty worthless at blogging since my blog went public. I have been working on the websites for Cville YL. That's been pretty fun. Other than that, I haven't been doing much.
Amy and I are supposed to go to the Madrigal tonite. We're having trouble finding a babysitter, so I think I've convinced Amy to find a gal to go with. I hope she does. That'd be good for her to do some contact work on her own.
Anyways.. I'm thinking that blogging is dead for me. It has lost some of its fun-ness.
I started this week on the Topical Memory System. It's been great. I've memorized the first eight verses. I guess you're actually supposed to memorize them slower, but I'm working on memorizing the New Believer pack, and didn't figure I had to work too hard on those. But they are good.
Well, now I'm done writing, and I've not said much. I pray that I would be writing something of a bit more consequence soon, but not too much consequence.
Monday, December 06, 2004
Haiku
Since Drew seems to be having so much fun over at www.ravishedbyhim.blogspot.com writing poetry, I thought I would post my own fun haiku this morning before I go to literature class.
too many secrets
running all our lives aground
total deprivation
most santas ho ho
this one sat and cried so long
most pitiful man
sitting at my desk
reciting haiku lines now
i am no poet
False memories true
holding onto past thinking
how long have i been
hazy day of gray
most have closed their blinds to this
retreating inside
Integrity and uprightness
This morning I got up at my normal time, and here I am at my office listening to Josh Groban and resting to start my day.
I read Psalm 25 this morning. "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me" stuck out to me. Those are two things that seem to be lacking in my character. The psalmist is revealing how he views those attributes as necessary for life.
Yesterday I gave a Young Life presentation at the church. It went pretty well. I think it helps to let them see my heart.
I'm looking at all the stuff I have to do today and realizing I should get after it.
I read Psalm 25 this morning. "Let integrity and uprightness preserve me" stuck out to me. Those are two things that seem to be lacking in my character. The psalmist is revealing how he views those attributes as necessary for life.
Yesterday I gave a Young Life presentation at the church. It went pretty well. I think it helps to let them see my heart.
I'm looking at all the stuff I have to do today and realizing I should get after it.
Friday, December 03, 2004
Working
I'm busy working on two new websites for Young Life. You can check them out.
Young Life Pemiscot County and Caruthersville High School Club
They're not spectacular yet, but I will be customizing them more soon.
Other than that, I have just been reading some blogs.
Young Life Pemiscot County and Caruthersville High School Club
They're not spectacular yet, but I will be customizing them more soon.
Other than that, I have just been reading some blogs.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Today
Yesterday my blog was wandered onto by my roomate from Bible School. How cool is that? Anyways, it was good to talk to him. It seems like we knew each other in a past life- that's how vastly different our lives are now.
I'm tired and recuperating from my visit with the in-laws over the past week. It was great, but very tiring. Now we get to go back to our normal routines and be the Hadleys once again. Sometimes when her family's in town we have to be her family for a while. Oh well.
I'm playing around on Napster right now. Just doing my part to support The Man and keep a brother down.
Anyways. I had an awesome campaigner Bible Study time last night with my guys. They we more irritable than usual, but we had an awesome time of studying in John's Gospel. I guess it's random things like that that God gives me to keep me going.
And now I'm going to do something else. Blessings.
I'm tired and recuperating from my visit with the in-laws over the past week. It was great, but very tiring. Now we get to go back to our normal routines and be the Hadleys once again. Sometimes when her family's in town we have to be her family for a while. Oh well.
I'm playing around on Napster right now. Just doing my part to support The Man and keep a brother down.
Anyways. I had an awesome campaigner Bible Study time last night with my guys. They we more irritable than usual, but we had an awesome time of studying in John's Gospel. I guess it's random things like that that God gives me to keep me going.
And now I'm going to do something else. Blessings.
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