Friday, September 23, 2005
The balancing act
It turns out it is a bit more difficult than I believed it would be to transition to the life of a full time student while maintaining momentum in my current ministry context. Man, am I tired. It's a good thing I didn't blog Wednesday. I was so tired and depressed. Am I up for this? Do I have "what it takes"? Did I make a tragic mistake/misstep in my seeking after God's will for myself and my family? I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. What would make me think I could be a decent student and be a decent Young Life director while being the husband and father Amy, Micah and Alexis deserve? So I pray. That's the positive thing. Since my staff conference last week, I have been more aware of the spiritual battle that goes on around us and within us. I have prayed more seriously for myself and this ministry in the last week than the two and a half years of Young Life combined. I pray for my kids to be protected from evil spiritual influences. I pray for God to send angels to protect us. During my morning drive I read the Orthodox morning prayers from my little prayer book I bought at St. John's. When it comes time for open intercession in the prayers I pray for a while for everyone who comes to mind. There is so much need I know I forget people and situations. So I find myself at the edge. Where else can I go? You [Christ] have the words of eternal life. I do nothing except seek Your face everyday and trust that all will be well in the end. Lord, protect me from the sin of busyness and distraction. So often I look around, compare myself with others and feel myself sinking in the sea. Lord, save me! Please don't let me sink. In myself I have nothing worthy to bring to You, so I depend completely on Your mercy. Lord, have mercy. Holy Spirit, bring Your peace into my heart and into my life. Guide me into Truth. Christ, be my fellow traveller today. Walk beside me and encourage me. Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit. Now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.